Saturn’s Return…again?
My thirty-second birthday is here, and I tell you, since turning thirty, my life has been taking me on a ride—a literal hayride. Not me waking up on my birthday with a charlie horse, nah this is me getting old?
In the most recent months of my life, I keep hitting pivots, twists, and turns—and it has been hitting me like a ton of bricks. As I move into this decade as gracefully and unscathed as possible, I find myself questioning who I am, what kind of woman I want to be, and who will be alongside me on this journey.
Birthdays have always been special to me. If you know me, then as a fellow Gemini, one of the most hated signs in the world, I do the absolute most because, of course, It is the day my presence was blessed to the world! But this year was different for me. This year I did not plan a thing, no outfit no outing, NUDDING.
Usually, I am determined to be on a flight, at a party dancing away, or something, but this year, I said screw it! I found myself trying to plan and accommodate others to celebrate me, and it is one of the most draining aspects of celebration. Instead, I have and will continue to be pretentious about how I feel and what I want, and to be honest, this year, I just wanted to be at peace and have love. It sounds cliche, but hear me out.
When I say peace, I mean that. I just wanted to feel content within myself and the energy I exuded. Falling into silence and basking in it. My brain and body these days have been on different wavelengths, and I am fighting hard to maintain that balance. I want to provide a safe space for myself to be who I am, express myself, and keep showing these teeth, hunny! I want to create the peace that I so require; the people I speak to daily, my job, my family, and one day in my love life (whenever I get one again) will all be what I need it to be…for Shannon.
One thing I have been experiencing with this growth is loneliness. No one tells you that when you begin to grow, reflect, and see people for who they are, you shift away from the noise. Which then leaves you with that one friend or by yourself. This season of isolation was hard for me to accept for a while, but now I get it. Difficult times and isolation make you see the value in everything, though. You take in the breeze more, slow down, and experience a lot of silence. In a sense, it’s like you wake up, and the puzzle is finally coming together.
So, as Saturn has reached its solar return, I am embracing the stillness. Have you ever thought about when a big storm will come and how quiet it gets? Yeah, I am about to witness a significant shift soon because right before every storm, there is calmness. Once the storm clears, the sun appears. I am embracing solitude because the noise blinds you. I am getting to it together!
As my birthday is blooming into full effect, here I leave you all with thirty-two gems that are important through this journey of adulthood:
Move towards ease and stop resisting the change…
Express yourself to the fullest, even when it’s hard and uncomfortable. Stop holding things and building resentment. It really just makes things worse.
Take things and people!!—at face value. Stop making excuses for others when they aren’t up at their best.
Lay that—ish down! Especially when you know you reached out and tried. Sometimes, people are just not ready, and that’s okay. Lay it down, y’all!
No one tells you how lonely growth is. So, I am here to tell you to brace yourself, and nothing is wrong with you. You are just expanding, exploring, and exuding.
People will come into your life when you least expect them to and be amazing to you, for you, and everything in between. They won’t want from you. Embrace it.
When you least expect it will leave your life for all reasons, let them go. Rejection can be protection!
Say hard things well. Most of the time, it isn’t the message but how we say things that people tend to remember (one of my biggest learning lessons). But also be aware of when people just aren’t ready to handle the truth.
Have Boundaries, just because someone treats you better does not mean it’s well.
Be kind! For the most part.
Just because you forgive doesn’t mean the behavior was okay. It means you are moving forward and healing. It is time to move forward.
Sometimes, what we think we want isn’t what we need. Be open to learning.
Get out of your head and say what you have to say. If they get mad, it’s okay, but if they listen and compromise, it’s so worth it.
Please bucket who your friends, acquaintances, and lifelines! Not everyone wants to see you successful! Not everyone should be in your home.
Have good morals—keep your hands and heart clean. Remember, everything we do somehow comes back to us.
You should have good people around you from whom you can learn. If you are not learning from them, then what’s the point?
Sometimes, the people closest to you are jealous of you. Run!
Please exercise discernment. Use your frontal lobe! Stop defining and interpreting things based on your definition/perspective. Everyone has their own opinions.
Stop lying to spare people their feelings; most of the time, the damage is worse because you are withholding the truth.
Learn how to communicate in all forms! Texting is not the only way to talk y’all. Please stop hiding behind words and open your mouth. Hearing words and reading words can make or break a conversation.
Love … hard, truthfully, and with all of your being. Focus on the people that love you back. Hold them close.
Grieve…
Heal… it comes in waves, but do it.
Read the room…
Take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Stop searching for love. It’ll fIt'llou…and that in friendships, family, and romance!
Stop comparing your life to others yall!
Social media is not accurate (I am yelling at you) -_-.
Stop playing in people's faces! If you are not ready for what they want, please leave people alone.
Be cautious of how you speak to yourself!
Cry…
And last but not least, live y’all— in the most authentic way.
Cheers to another year around the sun! To another 32 times infinity!